


the ghostbusters decide to die

by zero



Series: Jafar Wars Legends [1]
Category: Ghostbusters, egon spengler - Fandom, jafar wars au
Genre: Sons of Egon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-18
Updated: 2016-02-18
Packaged: 2018-05-21 10:53:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6048790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zero/pseuds/zero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the last and greatest deed of the hero is the courage to face ones death. this is a thing of bruce lee and robin williams in jumanji. in the jafar wars canon, everyone lives happily ever after in darth miami, forever. so i thought id write a little one off in case they ever change their minds and decide to enter "that country whose bourne no man knows". what a nightmare</p>
            </blockquote>





	the ghostbusters decide to die

lord murray: gentleman, id say its time for us to die  
ray: gentlemen, it has been an honor playing with you  
egon: id say its time. how should we do it?  
winston: russian roulette. ill pour some liquer. one will be poisoned. well shuffle, then drink.

the night is setting on ghostbusters headquarters.  
winston pours drinks, then has egon shuffle. they set it out in a four-spoked wheel. each one of them has one corner of this great platter.

lord murray: friendos? all together at once  
ray, egon, winston and lord murray all drink  
all: cheers  
ray: to a life well busted and ghosts well spent  
lord murray: to everything that moves  
egon: to egon  
winston: to your health  
*they drink*  
egon: feeling anything?  
winston: it was cyanide and strychnine, bleach and cream  
lord murray: i feel funny  
ray: *falls over*  
lord murray: what liquer is this?  
winston: its marshmallow  
egon: damn

*storm outside*

winston: that storms familiar  
egon: quickly the roof  
lord murray: i got a bad feeling about this!

nobody laughs  
they climb the stairs to a huge roof, like any famous new york building you see or know from a movie. the storm of lightning is beckowing outside.

egon: i know what this is. just like old times, eh fellas  
winston: first one to think lets the beast come  
lord murray: after you

ominous voice: choose the form of the destructor

they all pause

lord murray: fuck  
egon: we had a deal man  
winston: what did you think of? gozer worshipers?  
lord murray: no... its phil  
egon: phil...?  
winston: vermin  
egon: its been real my friend  
lord murray: im terrified, but i deserve this. this is what i need. what the world needs.  
winston: any regrets?  
lord murray: well, its expected i say garfield. but looking back, no. caddy shack isnt a good film like everyone says it is.  
egon: i feel you.  
winston: "its easy to grin, when your ship comes in"  
lord murray: yeah... that lost in translation film was kind of racist, too.  
winston: yeah, it was.  
lord murray: PHIL!!! END ME!!!

he turns toward the towering blaze of an enormous, godzilla sized groundhog that has approached their tiny vessel (building). it screams and snarls.

lord murray: i knew this the day i stole that mask *he holds up a mask of villager from animal crossing* END ME YOU FUCKING RAT  
lord murray dives into the jaws of the beast, and is devoured. the city is crumbling, and the creature moves toward the far off mountains.  
winston: well, its just the two of us

fireplace roaring

winston: i have a revolver  
egon: no. it has to be me  
winston: but youre the greatest scientific mind the world has ever seen!  
egon: but you have a wife and family. im all alone. there will be other scientists, and the world doesnt need science so long as people look within themselves.  
winston: are you sure?  
egon: marys waiting. shes hungry. ghosts have done so much for me. its time i gave back.  
winston: hug *gestures for a hug*  
egon: *hugs him and they get all sweaty and gross*  
winston: im gonna miss you man  
egon: im gonna miss me, too

egon picks up a twinkie from the table, and takes a huge bite. then he puts it back down with a bite taken out of it

egon: later days

he goes into the dark bathroom on the third floor. the third bathroom on the third floor always has a ghost in it. he turns off the lights and lights himself a cigarette

egon: they say smoking kills.

there is a diverse and palpable quiescence and silence in that tomb of a corridor bathroom. all the silence is aligned.

egon: bloody mary

somewhere in the ghost dimensions between worlds, full to bursting with the hungry dead, the starving souls of those bound in samsara, there is a stirring. the mirror in front of egon quakes a lil.

mary: (its him)  
egon: bloody mary

the mirror starts quaking off its hinges and starts to rattle until it quakes and cracks something awful.

egon: *gulp*  
mary: (FINALLY)  
egon: bloody mary!

torrents of blood course through the mirror and an enormous hand explodes out of it, dragging him inside. nothing is left. his cigarette falls to the floor in the pools of blood. winston comes up in the morning. police are on the scene. the mirror is still gaping open into the void. nothing is left. NOTHING IS LEFT. nothing but an unlicensed proton accelerator and a half-eaten box of twinkies.

winston: there goes the greatest ghostbuster the world ever knew. godspeed, you black emperor. i take back what i said about you.  
winston: you earned it

see you, space cowboy


End file.
